Hi. I'm Kristen, and as my title suggests, I'm probably the world's worst parent. nevertheless, I am one. This is elliott. don't call her Ellie unless you're my mother (even though my username has it), she doesn't like that. Yeah, yeah, Elliott's a boy name. Maybe I wanted a boy. (I didn't, I just think that's a pretty girly name for a boy...and my middle name is Jaymes, so why not?)


This picture is a couple months old, she's now a lot fatter and has more hair. She doesn't look a thing like me, so I probably kidnapped her because her real parents were morons who leave their babies in unlocked cars to go into grocery stores. You'll never know, will you?

I didn't! Stop looking at me like that! I have the scar to prove that I actually  gave birth, okay?!

Anyway. I'm one of those parents who feeds their baby ice cream and smokes pot (OUTSIDE, why does everyone look at me like that?) after she goes to sleep and has been known to ask strangers to hold her for a second so I can go to the bathroom. It's not that I don't love her, it's that I also have my own life, too. I'm not a very selfless person. I guess I'm here to try to redeem that.

I also take pictures. You can IM me at kristenandellie for my portfolio or, you know, just because you want to?

That's all for now. I'll be back later.

~Kristen